Cleanse with Clara

My Approach: Clumsy But Committed

October 15, 2023 - Pre-cleanse

Greetings,

My heart is conflicted as I anticipate the liver cleanse. Why? Because I’m obsessed with dark chocolate (daily double doses) and Kelsey said it would not be advantageous to consume such things during this holy process. Coffee, grains, and meat will be sorely missed as well.  I’m trying to shift my thoughts away from what I will lack and towards what I will delight in. (Kelsey, will there be delight??)

I wonder how I will feel, day-to-day. Will my body be grateful for the switch-up? Will I experience bloat, fatigue, or a dramatic change in mood and energy? Will I feel okay at work? Will I sleep well?

I understand this journey is different for everyone, since we all have very unique livers with their own trauma and their own history of care. So Kelsey can’t tell me what this will be like for me.

Good thing I’m keen for adventure ;)

Receiving Gifts

October 16, 2023 - Pre-cleanse

Hello from my front porch,

I received the cleanse box on my front porch and my first thought, honestly, was an expletive. I don’t know, maybe I’m nervous. The Buddha teaches that experiencing pain is like getting hit with an arrow, and when we resist and do not accept what is, it’s like being hit with a second, more painful, arrow. So my work today is accepting the arrow in my liver. 

And today, acceptance looks like a grocery list. It might shock some of you to learn I’m not the best at planning ahead. One of the perks of “living in the moment” is that you don’t have to worry about that logistical nonsense ;) Needless to say I’m proud of my day-before grocery list compilation:

Liver Grocery List:

  • Apple

  • Arugula

  • Beets

  • Cabbage

  • Cardamom

  • Carrots

  • Cilantro

  • Cumin

  • Dandelion or beet greens

  • Dill

  • Garlic

  • Hemp seeds

  • Pear

  • Pine nut

  • Pumpkin seed

  • Radish

  • Sesame seeds

  • Walnuts

If I were a completely different person, I might have already prepared the salads, slaws and soups with various combinations of these beautiful ingredients, but I am myself, so I’m going to the store today and I will make them on the fly throughout the week, while I’m haggard and hungry. *Pats on the back* While I’m grateful my nervous system excels in rolling with the punches and working with what I have in front of me, I benefit greatly from working alongside someone like Kelsey. An incredible gift of Kelsey’s camaraderie is that she is a fantastic planner, and do-it-now, break-it-down, one-thing-after-another genius thinker, and I get to absorb some of that by osmosis privilege. AND she just completed her own liver cleanse, so I am the benefactor of live-action advice. I will share some recent gems with you.

Kelsey completed her second liver cleanse of the year just this weekend, and had encouraging news— it wasn’t nearly as hellish as her first. This affords me little comfort. More comforting are her helpful reminders and strategies for optimizing my cleanse:

-Clear the Detox Pathways

-Follow the Cleanse Diet

-Rest. Rest. Rest. 

We have six detox organs: kidneys, lungs, lymph, colon, skin, and liver, and we can do them all some favors as we flush the liver. In addition to ingesting liver cleansing herbs and foods, I will be sure to sweat each day (skin, lymph), stay unbelievably hydrated (kidneys, lymph, colon), take walks in the woods (lungs), and maintain a diet rich in fiber (colon).

It’s sinking in that this full-body adventure begins tomorrow. Kelsey, am I doing myself any favors by having Irish beef stew for dinner tonight? YUM, yes that’s my chosen last meal, no question.

The Eagle has Liftoff

October 17, 2023 - Day 1

Hello from my desk,

The cleanse is officially underway. Yesterday I froze my buckwheat pancake leftovers for safe-keeping, not to be touched for a week. When my brother texted to ask if I could babysit their toddler next Saturday evening, I responded with an LOL emoji face. Sorry Rory, that’s DAY FIVE, which means I will need full access to my own peaceful and pristine bathroom.

I am overflowing with questions. Kelsey: Does it matter what day of my cycle I’m on? Is caffeine a no-no? If I feel energetic, can I go for a run? What if I get sick while I’m doing a cleanse? Is it okay to continue? How in the world do I reach a caloric goal of at least 1600? How much will I spend at Portland Juice Company?

So far, I have taken one 5mL dose of Liver Health herbs and 5mL of Turmeric extract. They were much more palatable than expected. I am supposed to take this dosage three times per day away from meals, and in the evening I’ll add four oxy magnesium capsules. Right now I feel energetic (hence the question about running). Maybe it’s day-one excitement. I’m peeing just about every hour. I muddled watermelon into my water, and added a touch of pink himalayan salt: homemade liver-support electrolyte water! I’ve pooped three times already today, of varying amounts, all easy to pass. 

I’m about to make a lunch slaw with beets, carrots, cabbage, and an herbaceous lemon dressing, then go for a neighborhood walk to let this energy flow through. I have one client this afternoon, a podcast planning meeting with Kelsey, an evening yoga class, followed by my meditation group tonight. So I’m hoping to maintain good, steady energy throughout the day.

If you are also currently cleansing, you’re off to a great start! The best way to begin is to begin. Ask questions, learn the best practices, and remember that you’re a human, and you know best when it comes to caring for yourself.

Whoa! So, this is a Cleanse!

October 18, 2023 - Day 2

Woke up this morning with as much energy as one can have for a 5am work shift. I made a cleanse-friendly smoothie (hemp seeds, chia, pumpkin seeds, tahini, arugula, cilantro, raspberries, banana, watermelon, water) wishing I’d had the foresight to make some homemade nut milk because this smoothie has a pretty gritty texture. I’m also the kind of person who can eat a reeeeal earthy smoothie, so word to the wise, add coconut milk, vanilla or cinnamon or other flavor enhancers, to your taste.

About an hour into my shift, I had the intuitive thought “don’t trust that fart.”  So I held it, and thank god. Seriously, praise Jesus. I had several trips to the bathroom before lunch that completely cleaned me out. When I told Kels she said, “Oh no! Girl, take less oxy capsules.” It’s a relief to have a supplements expert on the other side of a text conversation on a morning like this. Kelsey also encouraged me, “If it makes you feel any better, the more you empty your bowels now, the easier the final flush will be.” Any reminder of the “final flush” makes my stomach a little queasy.

It’s Day Two, and I still have pretty steady energy. I feel almost feverish in my forehead, maybe a symptom from a really early wake-up call for work. The need for bathroom access is only slightly uncomfortable. I have a pep in my step, clarity of thought and easy laughter. So far, the cleanse feels pretty good.

Take it Easy.

October 19, 2023 - Day 3

It’s Thursday, and thankfully I have a mild workload today. Kelsey and I decided to shift our podcast recording meeting to tomorrow, and my body thanks her. I’m just feeling quiet and cozy today; like I need a rest day. 

Last night I did myself the service of making Dr Group’s Liver Love Soup. It’s a beautiful pot of vegetables – beets, carrots, onion, basically a whole bulb of garlic, broccoli, and liver support herbs like oregano and cumin. I threw the finished soup into a blender and made it slurpable! And what a beautiful color! This soup, plus the realization that I am allowed to have all the fats and oils I want (hellloooo salad dressing) has really leveled-up my enjoyment, and my caloric intake. That’s definitely been a struggle for me: I’m concerned I’m not eating enough simply because I haven’t prepared enough food for myself to grab quick and easy. When I would regularly eat eggs and greens on toast, I am instead crafting a 15 ingredient salad, piling on hemp seeds to meet protein requirements. I don’t always have the time to build such elaborate meals, so I revert to going a little hungry. Not ideal.

I’ll admit, this week’s culinary creativity is colorful.

Sore Kidneys

October 20, 2023 - Day 4

Today I worked an early shift at BurnCycle, and while sleepy and calorically deprived, my energy was positive. I took fewer magnesium oxy pills last night, for fear of digestive discomfort (or god forbid surprises) at my in-person job. Thankfully, bowel movements were predictable… but completely liquid again.

When I shared with Kelsey that my kidneys were sore, “like, I never consider my kidneys. I don’t think about them. But today they are distinctly sore right there on either side of my lower lumbar spine.” She said they’re doing a lot of detoxification work for me right now. And she offered that it could also be my adrenals – my body is stressed by the change in food intake, and could be sending increased cortisol into my system. Adrenal fatigue would make sense, and correlate with the increased energy I’ve felt the last couple of days. My body is doing so much work for me right now!

The Big Flush

October 21, 2023 - Day 5

Today I am prepping for the “big flush” tonight and tomorrow, so I am supposed to take it easy. In the evening the instructions are to drink epsom salt water, wait two hours, then chug 6oz of extra virgin olive oil. Chugging olive oil was one of the trippier experiences I’ve undertaken voluntarily. 

First off, I definitely wasn’t taking in enough calories. I had two bananas, half of a mini watermelon, and I ate some of the liver cleansing soup late in the day as a desperate means of sustenance. I was also eyeballs deep in house projects– moving couches, a trip to Ikea (I got a little dizzy and decided we need to B-line for the furniture pickup area), and I may or may not have helped myself to a power-tool moment. I wasn’t resting. Doing myself no favors! 

Soup was my last meal, around 4pm. I drank the salts at 6pm, watched an episode of Modern Love (an incredible emotional detox, well-paired), and then settled in for the olive oil experience around 8pm. It’s really hard to chug olive oil. It’s difficult to even take little sips. It made breathing difficult, somehow. And the smell just screams “OLIVES!!!” so there’s no way to mentally trick yourself into drinking it. Anyway, I laughed my way through the nearly seven minute struggle to finish the 6oz bottle.

Then it was game time. I turned on my “Clara Loves Dad Rock” playlist and let the Doobie Brothers, Talking Heads and Whitesnake narrate my journey. I laid on my right side, with my knees tucked to my chest, for 30 minutes. The whole thing felt like a weird drug, maybe due to the perfect cocktail of nerves and adrenaline plus Dad Rock and, oh yeah, freaking straight up olive oil.

The lore of Kelsey’s cleanse experience led me to believe I’d be spending the night in the bathroom. Instead, I just had achy muscles (from hunger, most likely), and a difficult time falling asleep. I slept restlessly, but I wasn’t roused by any digestive emergencies.

In the morning, I immediately needed to poop, and it was a cleanse-classic liquid evacuation. This was the first time I dared to closely investigate what was in the bowl – and I was rewarded. I noted numerous light, almost transparent, greenish pebbles. Fascinating!!! Gallstones? Maybe.

After that first bowel movement, I took SIX (oof) oxy magnesium capsules. That made my stomach churn with anticipation. I bailed on the Oxbow Park hike I’d planned with some girlfriends, because our natural areas do not need that type of violation. I instead curled up with my book and plenty of coconut water. I ate the last of my bananas, pear and almond butter, grain free toast, and liver soup for dinner. I was ready for bed by 8pm, and I indulged.

Afterward

October 21, 2023 - Day 5

I finished the cleanse on Sunday, and I feel like I went through a whole hero’s journey. It was quite the live-action science experiment. Here are my main take-away’s:

  • Never trust a fart

  • Kidneys were sore (maybe adrenals)

  • Good energy throughout, I felt a distinct lack of sluggishness 

  • I didn’t crave sugar or non-cleanse things; I think because it was short-term, and something in my psyche was like “no, those things are the enemy”

  • Oil is not for drinking.

  • I think my biggest shortfall / disservice to my body was that I couldn’t get enough calories in. 

I definitely could do this again, and better support myself with food preparation, taping off the whole week as a week of rest. Seriously, no pumpkin-carving parties on day six! If you’re interested in trying it out, there are a few NON NEGOTIABLES that you must achieve prior to starting your cleanse:

  • Pooping 1-3 times a day, hydrated with clean water (100oz), 

  • Sleeping well (prioritizing sleep)

  • Setting expectations: what are you trying to get out of it (not doing it for weight loss) 

    • You should feel better when you’re done, you have to put work in for the cleanse to get what you want out. Efforts will match outcomes

  • Cleanse setup - meal plans, grocery shopping, herbal support, audit their toxic load, where can they make adjustments?

I hope you got a few giggles and some good information from this shared experience. Ready to maximize your liver function and hormone health by doing your own cleanse? Find our Love Your Liver Cleanse, written by Kelsey Weaver, and supported by your favorite functional health practitioners, HERE.  Please reach out with questions, or your own cleanse experience. For an in-depth conversation about liver function and health, listen to our three-part series all about the liver, in our podcast On the Mend. 

For more information on functional health and lab testing, follow @healthwithKelsey on instagram, and for nuanced dialogue on mental, physical, spiritual and community health, follow @ClarafyWellness !